Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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