At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Randomize
