He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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