I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
