she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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