you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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