I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
