Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
