i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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