I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
