Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize