Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
