i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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