I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
