I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
