I like my sex mixed with concussions.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize