so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize
