How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
