matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
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