6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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