I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize