Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
