I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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