At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
