He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
