32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
