I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
