You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
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