mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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