Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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