Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
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