dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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