to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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