Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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