He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I forgot how hot balto sounded
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
