it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
you traded sex for a burrito?
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
