guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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