I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
If I had your ass I would rule the world
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
