i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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