just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
