im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize
