shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
