i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
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