i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
