i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize