Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Everything about him screamed your future.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize