You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
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