My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
