hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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