seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize
