I just made out with a guy for $7.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
