so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
