Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Randomize
