To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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