he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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