I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
