the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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