You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
