so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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